Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
