Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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