I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
