Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
My vagina is very pro this idea
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
