and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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