You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
