a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
