dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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