If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
