Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
