Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Randomize
