that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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