You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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