have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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