I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
