I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Randomize
