East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
