dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
