oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
