just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
