oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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