who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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