So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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