T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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