it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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