i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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