I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Randomize