The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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