I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
