Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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