Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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