First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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