I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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