operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
