Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
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