You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
