But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
