On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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