Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
