I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Non-Jews are for practice
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize