I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
