I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
