A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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