Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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