it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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