he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
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