My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Randomize
