K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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