Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Randomize
