So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Randomize
