so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
