The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
