Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
