***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Couch. On fire.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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