His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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