We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize