she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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