YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Randomize
