so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Randomize