I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize
