i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
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