i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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